Well, at least it's not spaghetti Bolognese...

If there's one thing I'm going to miss when I leave Japan, it's the food. Okay, if I had to draw up a list, it might not be the #1 thing I'll miss, but it's up there. School lunch is delicious and nutritionally balanced (one of my friends is the dietitian who works for the local council to plan menus) AND I LOVE IT. I just know when I go home it's going to be near-on impossible to maintain such a healthy diet so effortlessly. It's no surprise the Japanese life expectancy is so high and you rarely see any fatties: the kids eat school lunch every day and play sports after school for a minimum of two hours (including weekends). I really think I've gotten a lot more healthy since coming here, too - I mean, my liver probably still resembles a barren wasteland, but you've got to be grateful for small favours, right?

While we're on the topic of food, I thought I'd share with you some pictures from tonight's dinner. After work, I went for a swim with Megu at the local pool and on the bike ride home stopped by the local grocery store to grab some grub. Usually, I'd make a beeline for the pasta aisle, fill my basket to breaking point and cycle home satisfied. Today, though I decided to mix things up a little. Now, before we get started, let's be real: the only thing that I have ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. And several little fires. (Carrie, Sex and the City). Nobody needs a walk-through guide explaining how to chuck a few things in a pan and make a stir-fry. I get it. But in lieu of me actually acquiring any cooking ability, this is what you're stuck with.

So, first of all... grab your ingredients!

Today's menu consists of some beef, a pack of soba noodles, tofu, diced spring onions and kimchi! Appetite whetted? Grab your oil and get that mother burning!

Whilst shit starts getting real over on the hob, chop up your meat into some cute little cubes!

Do the same with your tofu! This stuff literally is literally like edible goo.

Now, pause and grab a tipple. It's Friday night, it'd be criminal not to. (AS IF I FOUND MALIBU).

Chuck your chopped-up meat and tofu into the pan. Whap out the soba noodles and throw them in along with the kimchi, too. Sprinkle the sauce in that comes with the soba noodles and GET TO WORK.

While that's sizzling away, raid your probably-out-of-date and frankly-quite-dangerous spice collection... 90% of which was left behind by your predecessor! Kid yourself you can read the labels, feel reality kick in and just start chucking random shit in like you've got a clue. Feels good, doesn't it?

Spices 'n' shit in, keep on frying until it's ready. When that is, I honestly couldn't tell you, but when you're at least kind of sure it looks edible, shove it all in a bowl, sprinkle your spring opinions on top and CHOW DOWN.

I'm not quite sure where the tofu got to. But whatever. Anyone know how to make it, like, not disappear?

おいしかったよ！

That's Japanese for: single eligible bachelor with the ability to make a killer stir fry in the house! (Well, at least it's not spaghetti Bolognese...)